i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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