I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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