how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
