My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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