i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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