vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
