Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
