I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
