It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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