So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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