You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
