the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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