Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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