...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
