You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
