Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
