I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
