well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
