Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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