I cockslap morals
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
