I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
