Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
