Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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