The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
