So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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