just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize