well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
