This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
