Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
did i walk over a car last night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
