she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
