It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
