glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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