i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
