What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize