I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
