If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
