i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
