he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize