$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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