It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
