i think i have herpe
just one?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
