did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My life is pants optional.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
