so that wasnt chicken after all
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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