ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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