I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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