yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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