You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
