i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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