My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
