Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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