I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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