dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
