So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
