I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The adults are the big ones right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
