ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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