well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize