that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
