i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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