I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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