At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
