chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
