but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
