I'm so fucking centered right now
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
