it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
