And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
