The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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