Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
