Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
