put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
