She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
