What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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