So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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