yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
