I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize